Ringkasan dibuat dengan bantuan AI • Belum diverifikasi
Ceramah ini membahas tentang kebahagiaan dalam perspektif Buddhisme, dimulai dengan pertanyaan mengapa banyak orang enggan untuk bahagia. Ajahn Canda menanggapi kritik tentang tersenyum dan menegaskan bahwa kebahagiaan adalah tujuan dan jalan dalam Buddhisme, bukan penolakan terhadap penderitaan. Ia menjelaskan pentingnya usaha benar (right effort) dalam mengembangkan keadaan batin yang bermanfaat, menggunakan analogi tukang kebun untuk menekankan keseimbangan antara mencegah dan meninggalkan yang tidak bermanfaat serta mengembangkan yang bermanfaat. Selanjutnya, ia membedakan kebahagiaan indria yang inferior dengan kebahagiaan batin yang unggul, mengutip analogi anjing dan tulang, dan menekankan bahwa kebahagiaan sejati adalah kebebasan dari keinginan dan kedamaian batin. Hambatan kebahagiaan seperti bias negatif bawaan dan perasaan tidak layak bahagia juga dibahas, dengan menekankan pentingnya belas kasih pada diri sendiri untuk mengatasinya. Ceramah diakhiri dengan penjelasan tentang manfaat kebahagiaan bagi kesehatan, hubungan, dan meditasi, serta metode praktis seperti rasa syukur, mengingat kebajikan, dan cinta kasih untuk mengembangkannya. Meditasi terpandu kemudian memandu peserta untuk menyadari sensasi tubuh dengan penuh kebaikan, menemukan hal-hal yang menyenangkan atau netral, dan merenungkan rasa syukur untuk meningkatkan kebahagiaan dan kedamaian batin. Pesan utamanya adalah bahwa kebahagiaan sejati dapat dikembangkan melalui latihan mental dan rasa syukur, dan ini adalah bagian penting dari jalan spiritual.
Welcome to how to raise our happiness levels and as I was just saying I already gave the first talk
a title which is why don't you want to be happy and you might think that's really weird of course
I want to be happy and yet once we start to explore this topic you might find you're creating
obstacles to your own happiness knowingly or unknowingly for a various number of reasons
which we'll go into but the reason that I thought that would be a good title is because
being a senior nun and starting a monastery or a place to live which where monastics can reside
in England I need to be on social media and of course I put up photos of myself and my teacher
and you know I see it as a platform where I can bring some happiness into people's lives so I
don't want to always talk about the difficulties and there was a photo
of me and Ajahn Brahm smiling and we've got this particular person who seems to follow us and say
things like why do you have to smile is Buddhism only about being happy why are you always smiling
but why not right it doesn't mean we're negating suffering and happiness is a human need it's
certainly the goal of the Buddhist path and not only the goal but the means but when I posted
up about this retreat on Facebook the same person said I can't believe the topic
just can't believe it and again I thought isn't that interesting you know this is not
harming anyone else how does it serve anybody else to suffer how are you contributing to world
peace by suffering by being miserable being stuck in that being attached to that on the other hand
if we're not there for others we're going to be there to suffer to live and to suffer that's going to be the main purpose of the meeting thanks.
we are able to learn to find enjoyment in our lives enjoyment in being virtuous in having
somewhere to live in having a body that basically functions okay if we're able to find happiness
and start to enjoy the simple things in life we find that we tend to treat other people better
we're in a better mood so we have a better disposition towards ourselves and the world
and as a result of that our relationships improve and as a result of that we become
even happier of course the opposite is true right we're miserable we wake up in a grumpy mood we tend
to say the wrong thing to someone and then increase their suffering and increase our own
we become ever more miserable and how does this enable us to really be of service in the world
you know if we're grumpy if we're feeling completely overwhelmed by the things we hear
in the news and the genuine suffering that so many people are going through
so no we don't
have to smile all the time we can cry there's a place for suffering we're not negating that
and yet happiness is the path and the goal that we're after this is what the buddha taught for
yes he taught suffering but by saying that he teaches suffering in the end of suffering he was
also saying that he teaches happiness and the cause for happiness it's the other side of the coin
yeah and the highest happiness that the buddha taught for us is happiness and the cause for
suffering and that's what the buddha described as the happiness of peace the happiness of nibbana
complete and total contentment and freedom from suffering but we don't reach that place by denying
suffering in fact the buddha said that we need to learn to understand suffering and the causes for
suffering and also deliberately develop happiness so there's a bit of a myth probably in the
meditation world that the most important meditation technique is to just be with whatever arises just
to be with whatever arises just to be with whatever arises just to be with whatever arises
be with it objectively be the passive witness let things be and certainly this is a great
foundation for our practice but if we actually don't tend to our gardens in other words if we
don't also include the deliberate um cultivation of wholesome states then our practice is a little
bit half-baked yeah it can even run the risk of becoming too passive you know well everything's
like this there's nothing i can do i'm just watching i'm not actually
i'm just watching i'm not actually
actively engaged in my life we can become what i call a victim of circumstance
and rather than that the buddha taught something called right effort so i have a little quote here
from the suttas and it's from the majima number 141 i actually prefer to translate this as right
endeavor and you'll see why in a moment because it's pointing towards the way we use our minds
it's not just about how much effort we
use so the buddha says one must awaken zeal to prevent unwholesome states arising
to abandon arisen unwholesome states okay so they're the first two that involve dealing
with suffering to some extent but at the same time we must develop wholesome states
and maintain and increase them or bring them to fulfillment
it means like to develop
and to cultivate to cultivate them to the extent that they flow over it's like you think
of a cup that's just brimming full with water and you just keep on developing those wholesome states
there's nothing to fear from that at all and this is what he calls right endeavor one arouses
the energy for this exerts the mind and makes an effort to do all four this is called right endeavor
so part of this
is learning to simply notice when wholesome states are present. Learning to
simply notice them and see them as important. Recognize that this is
something that can lead to genuine happiness inside. You've noticed already
I'm sure that the kind of happiness we're discussing here is the happiness
of virtue, the happiness of developing beautiful states of mind like generosity,
loving-kindness, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, a sense of gratitude for the
things we have in our lives that we sometimes take for granted but are
everywhere once we start to notice them. And inspiration, the joy of hearing the
Dhamma, of gaining faith in the Dhamma and being inspired to practice. There's a
certain happiness there. For me there was a huge happiness in hearing the Buddhist
teachings on Satsang.
That there is suffering. That there is suffering. Yay! It's not only me. There's
nothing wrong with me. This is how it's supposed to be. And that suffering has a
cause because if suffering has a cause it's only a short leap of logic to
recognize that the cause could be removed. If something's conditioned, if it
comes into being only when the causes are present, we can to some extent
undermine those causes and the Buddha was saying we can actually uproot them
completely.
And at the same time,
cultivate wholesome states. So it's a little bit like being a gardener. You
know, we prevent unwholesome states arising. It's like having a nice soil bed
isn't it? Where weeds can't really take root. You know, we just clear it out. We
make sure we keep it in good condition. We till the soil, so to speak.
And then we abandon the arisen unwholesome states. So that's like taking
out the weeds. We then develop wholesome states, which means planting flowers, right?
We put the little seeds in the soil. We hope to give them some sunshine and keep
them protected from the wind. And then we maintain and increase them. Yeah? You'll
start to notice that once you do have flowers and they get seed heads, those
seeds start to spread and you get more and more and more flowers until perhaps
the weeds aren't even a problem. You know, perhaps the weeds get smothered by the
flowers. Or even you can start to perceive the weeds as beautiful as well.
I mean, what is a weed other than a plant somewhere that you don't want it to be? Even a plant that you don't want it to be.
Even weeds can be very pretty and they can be a special feature in your garden.
So the suffering has its purpose too. But in this retreat we're going to be
focusing on planting those flowers and watering and cultivating the flowers in
our hearts. So the multi-million dollar question. Is anyone a millionaire with
multi-millions? Okay. No? Okay. Make a donation. I'm just
kidding. All right. So what is happiness? What
actually is this happiness that we seek? And in the world it's often talked about
happiness as being the fulfilling of one's desires. Right? Happiness is getting
what we want, isn't it? Happiness is getting our desires met. Or at least our
needs. And yet the Buddha said the opposite. He said that happiness is
freedom from desire. Freedom from wanting anything at all. When I first heard that,
I know it was a light bulb moment for me. I thought, oh my goodness, of course, if
you don't want anything that means you're absolutely content. Yeah. Contentment is
the end of desire. So peace, contentment, not because you necessarily even have
pleasant feelings in the body or the mind, but even peace and contentment
amidst the suffering. Peace and contentment no matter what. Based on
wisdom. Based on seeing things as they are.
So desire is not only a cause of suffering, but it actually is suffering.
When we start to learn about how this body and mind work, we start to
recognize that anytime we crave, anytime we have very strong wanting and desire,
it's predicated on a sense of lack. On a sense of not having enough, not being
enough. Something being missing. Something being missing. And it feels tiring. When
there's desire, there's something to do about that desire. You need to try to fulfill it, right?
It feels agitating. It's hot. It's bothered. You know, it exhausts the mind. And lo and behold,
when we get one desire met, we need the next one met. Have you ever noticed that?
Even I noticed this in the monastery. Like once I painted one wall a really beautiful color,
I thought, oh, there's another wall over there that's that horrible magnolia color.
What kind of color can I put on that wall? I know, pixie green.
So now we've got some bright pixie green paint for our boot room to keep us awake when we're working.
But anyway, it's a minor thing and it's not an unwholesome thing, but we can see how these things
never really solve the problem, right? Ajahn Chah had a lovely analogy. He said, trying to fulfill
our desires through desiring, through craving for more, is like having an itch on your head
and scratching your bum.
You're back.
You're back.
Basically looking in the wrong place, right?
And at the same time, we're looking for the wrong kind of happiness.
I mean, I tried to veer away from words like right and wrong because we're not making a moral
judgment here. But what the Buddha is concerned with is what's causing happiness, what's causing
suffering. And if we are cultivating or looking to get our desires met in a place that they can never
be met or through a kind of happiness that isn't the real thing, then it isn't going to work.
So he talked about
two types of happiness. There's first of all, the happiness of the senses, the happiness of pleasant
sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touch. Yeah. And he called this quite strong words. He actually
said these are filthy happinesses. They are inferior happinesses. It does sound quite strong,
doesn't it? But you'll see why in a minute. They are inferior. They are worldly and they
lead to nothing but misery. They lead to fever and also conflict, right? You've got more than me.
I want what you've got. I'm going to steal, right? Or even it can go into wanting, you know,
another person's partner, right? Wanting to have relationships that are harmful because of sensual
desire. And so there's a danger there. The Buddha said that this has a certain gratification. There
is a pleasure. There is a pleasure. There is a pleasure. There is a pleasure. There is a pleasure.
There is a pleasure to be found. But it's limited. It's temporary. It's unsatisfying. And sometimes
it can stimulate that craving even more. So there's a lovely simile in the suttas, like a dog
going after a bone because he's hungry, right? And wants something to eat. And he finds this bone that
smells like meat. It smells like food, but it's actually just smeared with blood. And no matter
how much you chew on that bone, no matter how much you try to get the meat, you try to get the
nourishment out of it. Basically, there's not enough nourishment to get the nourishment out of it.
There's nothing on there. It's going to leave you hungry. It's going to leave you even more wanting
and perhaps rather crazed. Yeah. So the problem with these things as well is that they can be
addictive. I mean, we all know about addictions. If we haven't met addictions in our own life or
in the life of family or friends that we love, we've seen the effects of addictions or read about
the effect of drug addiction, alcohol addiction, relationship addiction too. Addiction to toxic
relationships. And this is often based on that, trying to satisfy ourselves through the pleasures
of the senses. It's addictive because sometimes we think it hasn't worked yet. I'll just do it again.
I need more of it, right? I've only got 10 billion or something. Oh, I definitely need another 10
billion. Then I'll be happy. Does it ever lead to happiness? Obviously not. And I'm sure that's
why everybody's here. If you're told a billionaire or somebody embroiled in sensuality, they're going
to see that your idea of happiness is to look at a screen for two days and hear the words of this
Buddhist non. They'd be like, are you crazy? What's wrong with you? Nons don't have any pleasure,
do they? They would be wrong. So this is the kind of happiness that the Buddha said there's a danger
in. And it's not to be cultivated. It's to be feared in the sense of treat it carefully. Treat
it carefully. There can be some gratification, but don't put all your
all your stakes on that. Luckily, on the other hand, there's another kind of happiness, which is
the happiness of the sixth sense, the happiness of the mind, the happiness of wholesome qualities of
cultivating inner strengths and wholesome states of mind. And there's a whole spectrum of happiness
in the Buddha's teachings, which starts from the happiness of inspiration, getting some sense of
where these teachings are pointing to.
And feeling that, gosh, yes, this makes sense. This uplifts the heart. It gives me some hope that
something that I can do to, in a way, I wouldn't say take charge of, but influence my own ability
to be happy, to find happiness, to search for happiness in the right place. And there's a path.
The Buddha gives a path. He doesn't just say, oh, you're stuffed. You know, everything's suffering.
Sensuality is no good.
There's no hope for you. No, he gives a path towards ever-increasing, subtle and refined types
of bliss. And so we get inspired because we start to experience these directly inside ourselves.
One of them is the bliss of blamelessness that comes from living a virtuous life and rejoicing
in the virtue of others as well. Whenever you see kind acts being done, you know, whenever you see
incredible strength in the midst of suffering, whenever you see that commitment to truth or a
desire to give, to share resources, it can really warm the heart. It can really give us inspiration
in the capacity for human beings to be basically good. And I truly believe that's the case.
It takes a lot of conditioning in other directions for us to go against our own basic human nature
and our own basic needs for safety, for love and connection, and for a sense of satisfaction,
a sense of contentment inside.
So the happiness of meditation is about cultivating the happiness of the mind.
That's what we're doing here. And by doing that, we gently and gradually wean ourselves off those
coarser forms of joy. So again, the Buddha's only saying that these things are inferior because
there's something superior to be found, okay? So wouldn't you want a happiness that's higher than
that you already have?
Isn't that a good thing to go for? There's a lovely little quote from Ajahn Brahmany that I jotted down.
And he says, yeah, he's again pointing to how sometimes it's enough just to notice the happiness
that's there, whether it's in our lives or in our meditation. He says, by noticing the joy of
meditation, you see a different and superior happiness to that which is found in the world.
When this happens, your habits,
and values change accordingly. And I was thinking about that for myself, about how when I started
to experience a happiness that was welling up from inside through the practice, through being
on the path, I would start to incline to solitude rather than being busy with people, with things.
I started to find much more pleasure in nature than being at, say, a rave party,
which I didn't do for very long. But I wanted to check everything out. And there was a natural
inclination.
to those quieter states of happiness. Even weaning off music, which I really loved,
it became less attractive to me than just being with the sounds of the people around me,
being with nature, and eventually starting to incline towards silence and the silence that
comes from the mind. So this is a beautiful path that only increases in joy and in happiness the
more we tread it.
So,
as I said, sometimes there can be obstacles to cultivating happiness. Sometimes it seems like
just too much effort, right? And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity
bias. We're primed that way, our brains have evolved to be more attuned to the danger in a
situation, or to what's wrong, even in our bodies. In other words, our minds just zero in on the pain.
So, we're primed that way, our brains just zero in on the pain. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias.
than to notice what's good. And one of the reasons for this is that in the distant past, when apparently people used to live in the bush or whatever and there could be a wild animal,
it was much more, we were much more likely to survive if we had a strong keen sense of danger. For example, anxiety or fear could keep us alive. You know, if we were over-anxious or over-fearful, the worst thing that could happen is we might just die.
And we might think there was a tiger in the bush when actually there wasn't. But still, we'd get away with our lives, right? But if we were really kind of chilled out and relaxed and, you know, tending to be on the less cautious side and enjoying things, and we heard a rustling in the bush, oh, no, never mind, it's probably nothing, you know, it's probably just our friend coming to visit, but it was a tiger, you only have to make that mistake once and you're dead. So, we develop this strong negativity bias that stays with us today. And unfortunately, it's not just us, it's also the people around us. And so, we're primed that way, our brains just zero in on the pain. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity
bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience, a strong negativity bias. And we also have what is called in neuroscience
anxiety and all the rest can be a part of this as well and if there's been some kind of trauma
which I'm sure most people have had in their lives then we can be over reactive in a sense
reasonably so because our nervous system is trying to keep us safe but we can exaggerate the threat
that an actual threat so this is one of the difficulties and again it's a motivating factor
to try and cultivate more happiness we're not seeing things as they are this is a bias remember
so there's actually no need for such a strong negative reaction to things that are basically
not mini threats and so in order to cultivate happiness we have to start to motivate ourselves
we have to convince ourselves of the benefits and there are some very real benefits to be had
so one of the first ways that we can motivate ourself is to realize that
enjoying life allowing ourselves to enjoy experiences in our lives especially wholesome
experiences that are not harming ourselves or others is a way of being compassionate to
ourselves yeah again when we feel better we're in a better mood we tend to draw people to us
our relationships becoming enriched and we're also able to enjoy those experiences with others
so enjoying life
is a way of being compassionate it's a way of developing self-compassion
in a world that there's so much suffering already there
when we are happy when we do have a sense of joy or ease we tend to attract people to us not only
people but animals in the metta sutta the sutta on loving kindness the buddha says that one with
a heart of loving kindness has lots of friends and is dear to even the devas
the heavenly beings they will come and protect us we will be seen as harmless by creatures that
are smaller than us or vulnerable to us so we might find that animals respond to us when we
have a heart of loving kindness they can certainly pick up on fear right and uh of course loving
kindness is a very important aspect of being able to develop a healthy and harmonious community
and live in society you know our communities extend
into society and gradually we can create a place where everybody feels safe and respected and able
to belong it also has great benefits on our immune system being happy enjoying life leads to a
reduction in stress we actually recover from illnesses injuries infections more quickly
i remember when i had an infection in my arm after having a melanoma removed
and uh maybe it was my fault i didn't realize that you should actually remove the bandage
sometimes because it got kind of ooh i looked at it and all the little stitch marks were kind of
oozing i thought oh no just as it was about to heal now i've got to go and you know deal with
this and i was in a retreat so i didn't want to go out but instead i thought okay i'm going to
practice metta and i asked ajahn brahm should i send metta to that area he said no just develop
metta naturally and it will kind of and and yeah you know once the
metta's going once it's rolling you can spread it to the whole body so i did that and that was a
turning point okay i started antibiotics but they weren't really working but after this particular
session of loving kindness which lasted three or four hours i was completely immersed in it
because i was motivated right by the end of suffering uh after that it all started to heal up
which was quite extraordinary so it really does work and uh
goals okay i've written a few notes down here about neuro trans not neurotransmitters what do
you call these things uh neurochemicals good chemicals that are generated on our mind so when
we have goals or when we're motivated by certain ethical goals particularly enjoying
the particular work involved with that makes us more likely to stay motivated and to achieve our
goals so if you enjoy your meditation you're more likely to stay with it that's kind of obvious
isn't it and we get all these chemicals that keep us motivated so we can also enjoy cultivating our
own inner strengths and when we do that we stay motivated to stay on the path and we're going to
need this because the path is not a quick fix it's a lifelong or maybe a few lifelongs
so dopamine is generated when we enjoy things
so we can enjoy our own inner strength we can also have some motivational neural networks in our minds
so if we make an attempt to notice positive feelings and rewards for example you're in a
really boring meeting hopefully this is not a boring meeting if you try and find things to enjoy
while you're in the meeting even just like the warmth of the cup of tea in your hand which i can
do now if there's any warmth in it left you're more likely to stay focused to stay connected and to be
receptive for things to go in. Of course you're more likely to make time for
things that you enjoy, things that you're interested in and so you start to
prioritize the right things in life. We also have this chemical in the brain
called norepinephrine and that takes care of alertness and helps us stay
engaged. So if you're feeling sleepy start to enjoy things and again you'll
find that the chemicals set in and give you a little bit of help. Also natural
opioids like endorphins. We've all heard of endorphins. I think we can get
endorphins from exercise as well especially if you enjoy your exercise
make it fun. Sometimes I shouldn't say this in front of the lay guests but
sometimes me and my dear seminary my other non we go into the garage and we
have a skipping rope and we have one of those things that hangs from the ceiling
that you pull.
We have a couple of different machines and we just have a bit of fun and when we
enjoy the exercise we find we do more of it and so we get more endorphins and
feel much better about ourselves. Endorphins also help to reduce physical
pain they are an analgesic so physical pain as well as mental pain and
emotional distress is removed. So in neuroscience they say that positive
mental states.
In this way when we enjoy things become positive neural traits and of course
this is supposed to be a new insight but the Buddha had said all along that
anything we frequently reflect and ponder upon anything we frequently
cultivate in other words becomes the inclination of our mind.
Yeah so this has been proven now in neuroscience that it actually starts to
change the way our brains work change the shape of our brains.
How much of these chemicals are produced and also the neural networks responsible
for happiness kind of become like superhighways in the mind and can be
measured in the brain.
So other benefits again are in happiness sorry of happiness are in our meditation
and this is perhaps the most important thing we're concerned with today in both
the Metta Sutta and the teachings of loving kindness.
And also breathe meditation.
There's this pivotal point in the practice where we start to experience happiness and
happiness that comes through sustained awareness and cultivation in meditation.
And the happiness that starts to rise is the kind of tipping point.
This is when our attention really stays engaged we become self-motivated because
we're starting to see the benefits of practice.
And at this point we don't.
need very much effort at all you know there's a kind of feedback loop our
mindfulness is strong because of that we get a lot of energy in the body and mind
because of the energy and the lack of effort that's needed more and more
energy goes into what we call mindfulness and happiness starts to
arise we start to feel confident we start to feel we can relax the more that
happiness arises again the more we're motivated to be present to that but it's
is a training of the mind and so we have all these different methods that help us
to do this and once we reach those points in meditation the rest is
relatively easy okay so one of the teachings from Ajahn Brahm that I really
like which can help us get going with this is the idea of recognizing it's
like a three-stage thing so we recognize the happiness that's there
one
or a pleasant experience in the body or mind we become familiar with it so we
familiarize ourselves with that feeling with that emotion and we become at ease
it's like three different stages of allowing happiness to settle into our
minds there's a book by a psychotherapist and someone who's very
interested in neuroscience called Rick Hansen is called hardwiring happiness
you might want to have a look at it it's quite helpful
and he has these stages as well only he describes them as recognizing the
experience or having an experience and then enriching the experience so really
drawing it out really soaking it in or maybe that's the next step absorbing it
like letting it sink into the body and mind and in a way that's the same thing
so we have to first recognize it but be open to it and get familiar with it in
all its nuances.
for it to really be effective. So we can already start to do that in our daily life. And I thought
that today it might be nice to talk about gratitude, to just notice all the things that we
have around us to be grateful for, all the things that are enjoyable, that are beautiful, that are
uplifting for the mind. Things like the bird song in the mornings, you know, the different shades
of green. There's so many shades of green outside my window and also in the house because I've got
a little bit of a hobby with plants. And it's so beautiful, it's so uplifting to tend and to care
for plants and to see them grow, to see them thrive, isn't it? Maybe noticing an act of kindness
that either you've done or someone else has done for you. Even on a simpler level, the fact that
you have fresh water running out of the tap, you know, you might say, oh it tastes a bit of chlorine,
but it's basically water that you can drink. You know, you don't have to trek through the
mountains to find a little muddy puddle of water that is actually a danger to your life.
During COVID, I was full of gratitude for simply having a roof over my head, you know, if I would
have had to leave the rented accommodation at that time. And like people in India, traipsed from the
cities back to their villages with basically no resources at hand. I can't imagine, you know,
the suffering and the, well, the death that happened at that time. And here I was in a little
place, small, in the city, on my own, with everything I needed at hand. It was just so
uplifting. And I really made a determination at that time to make use of it to help others.
And that's where these online sessions began. You know, our Zoom community came from that time.
So there are so many things, you'll have many more things in your life that you could be enjoying.
And notice where you're not allowing yourself to enjoy things or where you could be enjoying them
more. Is there anything in your life, in your day, in your inner world that you could be enjoying
more? You could be appreciating more. And if so, are there any obstacles to that? You know,
do you think it's selfish to be happy? Hopefully not after this introduction to the talk a little
bit. Yeah. But how is being miserable going to help anyone, especially those you love?
Would people be happy? Would people be happy? Would people be happy? Would people be happy?
People you love want to see you suffer. You know, it's okay to suffer. It's not that you
should feel guilty for that. In fact, going through difficulties such as grief or loneliness
are opportunities to develop self-compassion, you know, to bring some of those beautiful qualities
of mind directly to the suffering. These things are not disconnected. They can coexist.
But we need to be learning and developing wisdom into how to relieve our suffering.
This is why the Buddha taught. This is why any Dhamma teacher teaches, you know, because
happiness is not only good for ourselves, it's good for everybody. It's good for everybody.
And I just love the fact that, you know, one of the causal sequences in Buddhism actually
starts with suffering. From suffering, it's actually called like suffering is the cause
for happiness. If we hear the Dhamma, and if we learn to respond with compassion, and having an,
being able to enjoy things in our lives, being able to develop attitudes of loving kindness,
of letting go, of generosity, gentleness, etc., actually enable us to stay present longer to the
suffering and get a sense of perspective. And when we get that perspective, that suffering is
universal, it's not only happening to us, we have a sense of context. We can put these things in
perspective in our lives.
Then that too opens up so much more potential to be happy. You know, we're not just zoning in
to the suffering like a big magnifying glass. I think the same author, Vic Hansen, he says that
mindfulness can be like a kind of spotlight, but also like a vacuum cleaner.
Because it spotlights whatever's happening, but it usually puts its spotlight on the pain.
You know, if you close your eyes now, and you kind of get a general sense of your body,
you'll probably notice what's wrong with it.
You'll probably notice all the places it hurts, that it feels tired, that it feels like, you know,
kind of, yeah, the injuries, the old injuries. So it's like a spotlight, but it's also a vacuum.
It sucks in that pain, unfortunately. But if we, he says it's like the mind is, what is it,
like Velcro for the negative, and Teflon for the good. So Velcro for the painful experiences,
and like a sieve for the pleasant and happy experiences. Again,
negativity bias but luckily we can make our minds like velcro for the good we can put a spotlight on
what's pleasant and we can learn to really take that in instead and over time with practice it
changes that bias into a much more balanced way to see things so actually being happy is not kind of
putting on rose tinted glasses it's redressing an imbalance it's redressing a bias and bringing us
to a more balanced perspective of life so this is one of the problems we also sometimes think we
don't deserve to be happy for some reason and if that's you i'm sure it's most of us you know we
we're not worthy of happiness then certainly some more self-compassion is needed you know try to
see yourself through the eyes of a friend see yourself the way a person who loves you would
see you or the way you would respond to a best friend you'd have an understanding of their life
the conditions that they have to
deal with the way they've been raised the choices that maybe they haven't always made that or maybe
have been made for them you know you'd have a lot more empathy a lot more compassion for someone who
wasn't yourself isn't that bias isn't that really biased and unfair so instead we have to learn to
be our own best friend our own advocate you know as if you're in a court of law you know and you
don't have a
uh defendant you have to be your own you have to kind of look at all the evidence and
recognize that you did your best you're doing your best all the time you're certainly doing
your best by being here this weekend giving yourself this chance to grow
so and then to rest in that happiness wherever we can connect with anything
relatively pleasant or even neutral in our bodies or minds in our experience learning to rest in it
to trust it to trust that this is something that does not have to be feared and to really soak it
in and guess what to enjoy it to enjoy that freedom from suffering the fact that something
is not quite as painful as it was or maybe it even is the stirring of happiness the stirring
of a sense of peace a sense of bliss a sense of ease so we're going to use different methods
one way is to bring up a sense of refuge a sense of safety which meets our need for safety
so thinking of things we can really take refuge in it might be the buddha the dhamma the sangha
but more likely it's the qualities that someone like a buddha someone who is compassionate
represents so taking refuge in a sense of truth being true to your own experience trying to live
a life with integrity with authenticity
yeah taking refuge in the qualities of loving kindness of compassion
of contentment of peace and not just taking refuge in but almost living from those places
approaching life from those places actually becoming those refuges connecting with those
qualities in ourselves and living from those becoming love becoming peace
yeah as i said a simpler one to get us started is probably gratitude because there's so much in
our lives to be grateful for small things once you start to notice something you'll you won't
be able to stop and i would recommend that throughout the day we attend to this you can
write things down in the evening once you start it you know you might just have two or three points
you'll have pages full of little things to be grateful for and just by bringing them
up into your mind the buddha said reflect in this way bring them up in your mind again
we're turning qualities or states into traits thoughts into our character yeah so we start to
imbibe those qualities more and more deeply in our lives the buddha also talked about bringing
up our own virtue it's called charganusati or silanusati recollecting on the beautiful
things that we've done or the really noble qualities that we revere and try to develop
ourselves you know if you do have a love for kindness it's probably because you know what
kindness feels like you know there's kindness inside you you know how that changes things for
you and for those around you you do know what that feels like so bringing up those qualities
bringing up memories of times that you received kindness from others and how that felt
how that uplifted your heart yeah and this really encourages the mind to continue in that direction
to continue developing wholesome states and then of course loving-kindness loving-kindness might
be your main practice or one of your main practices if not then I very heartily recommend
it so we'll be doing some loving-kindness practice as well during this couple of days
so loving-kindness
also works with thought in a very direct way again the Buddha said whatever we frequently
think and reflect upon becomes the inclination of our mind and in the case of loving-kindness
it starts off with thoughts of loving-kindness which might sound a little bit rote may I be happy
may you be happy may all beings be happy I don't really care about this happiness I don't feel
happy okay may I be happy all right let's change the words may I be
you
ease with myself or really connect with what you deeply wish for yourself so that it means
something to you it shouldn't feel you know meaningless or trivial or like something you
have to do you need to connect with the meaning behind those words and start to embody them more
and more so we use thought to get the feelings of metta going it's like putting kindling on a fire
so you start off
by building a fire with something that's really easy so these phrases are in a way like the kindling
and then as the fire starts to grow and become warm you need them less and less yeah the emotion
starts to take over and you start to experience loving-kindness as an embodied felt sense as an
emotion so we're working with thought in a skillful way and developing wise ways of thinking
and you'll start to find that during the day your pattern of thinking may change instead of going down
I dropped this thing again or oh you stupid such-and-such I don't know if you
talk to yourself like that I had a friend who used to swear at herself I
was shocked when I heard it and I understood it because she'd been spoken
to that too like that as a child she'd actually only just realized that she was
doing this to herself after years of meditation it had become so ingrained
but when we start to recognize that and we replace those really harmful hurtful
thoughts with thoughts of loving-kindness they start to become you
know more and more easily accessed we start to actually think in different
ways so this is skillful thought and part of right effort as well and we'll
be practicing this and loving-kindness of course fulfills our need for
connection fulfills our need for feeling love
and being loved because as we develop loving-kindness to others we also become
the recipient of that loving-kindness inside so there's really no separation
there and that's why they call loving-kindness in the suttas that which
breaks boundaries boundaries between ourselves and other people but also
boundaries towards ourselves boundaries towards the different parts of ourselves
that we've actually disowned sometimes
or stigmatized so with loving-kindness with a sense of virtue a sense of
goodness and the satisfaction that comes from that with a sense of refuge by
being able to develop qualities like gratitude we're actually giving
ourselves a massive boost on the path in the practice and on the path towards
enlightenment itself towards ever more refined and reliable
subtle happinesses that start to come from within so we become less dependent
on those external pleasures less needy of sensual pleasures we can still enjoy
nice food and pleasant weather and you know nature and things which are
basically not harming anyone you know even relationships right if you have a
committed relationship it's okay not everybody has to be a celibate monastic
we're not saying these things are wrong but you're not as dependent on them once
that happiness starts to well up from inside and this gives you an enormous
sense of confidence well-being of trust in the path that motivates you to
continue so I think that's enough for now and shall we have a five minute
break because it's the first morning and I would like a
sip of my tea which has now gone a little bit cold but I can still enjoy the
taste so see if you can find something to enjoy throughout your day and to keep
those wholesome states going inside your mind we'll see in five minutes please
don't leave the zoom room it's good if you keep your video you don't have to
keep your video on but please don't leave and then it's less work for our
co-hosts so you can mute yourself or turn off your video if you wish yeah see
you in five
let's just find our comfort as far as we can in our bodies by really asking your
body how it wants to be seated or placed right now you don't have to sit
cross-legged you may prefer a chair to lean against a wall to stretch your legs
out even to lie down what would be most supportive to you right now can you
allow yourself that you treat your body as a friend
I love it when I start to see that the stretching and the shawls and the
cushions it's great just by giving that bit more attention to your body your
body already knows it's in the friendly company of your mind not a mind that's
going to push it around if you are ready and comfortable you can gently close
your eyes and just notice what you notice in your body first of all this is
a bit true that we hone in on the difficult painful the tense it's okay if there's
anything you can do to alleviate any discomfort at this stage you can still
adjust you can start by establishing a beautiful quality of awareness so as I
said that mindfulness alone is not enough but we can imbue our mindfulness
with a sense of warmth
kindness and care mindfulness and kindness together is kindfulness in
Ajahn Brahm's simile it's like the light and the warmth of the Sun mindfulness
illuminates whatever it shines upon and this is the warmth of the Sun soothing
and comforting whatever you might wish to imagine that this kindfulness is
shining down
gently on your head the top of the head and you're just receiving the light and
the warmth becoming aware of any physical sensations maybe tingling
throbbing maybe different sensations across the top of your head and scalp
area and as you notice them your mindfulness is infused with kindness
imagine that soothing healing power
of the Sun kindness the warmth mindfulness spreads through your facial
muscles across the forehead as the Sun is gently shining on your face
emanating any feelings tensions in your brow it's whatever they may be and
simultaneously bestowing that sense of friendship and warmth allowing your
cheeks to relax your lips your jaw the sound of your breath the sound of your breath
taking are all taking a holiday just basking in the warmth and light of this
gentle sunshine shining on your face to your shoulders spending longer being
even more gentle with areas that are tight or tense bringing your shoulders to
loosen and they soak up this kindness the light and warmth of the Sun things
and your arms may be tingling may be shooting in the TSUD inus它 kàng p
the touch of your clothes, all the way down to your wrists, the whole arm from the
shoulder right down to your fingertips is soaking in kindfulness, relaxing more
deeply. Looking at the throat, noticing any feelings in your throat and your neck,
the sun just shining gently on those areas, giving your throat and neck
permission to relax and then spreading down through your torso touching the
skin and soaking inside, soaking through. The whole chest is soaked with kindfulness and any feelings, any
sensations in those areas just receiving them with kindness and care. The whole torso, the diaphragm
and all these muscles.
other organs inside you don't need to imagine them or visualize them just feel
any sensations in your belly all the way down to your abdomen down your back top
of your back to the waist area all the way down until the whole torso is soaked
through with kindfulness sensations to relax down to your buttocks your hips
of your body on the ground or the chair just receiving whatever sensations are
there right now and caring about them fullness through your legs the thighs
the skin the muscles all the feelings inside your thighs to your knees and
your shins your calves the soles the toes whole of the foot whole leg both
legs from your hips right down through your
knees all the way to the tips of the toes are soaked through with
kindfulness just receiving any sensation suffusing it with love with care
whole body is soaked through with kindfulness just notice your body as a
whole may still be areas of discomfort tension tightness even pain see if it's all so
alongside that any feelings that are easy to be with perhaps neutral or even mildly pleasant
it gives you a sense that you're basically okay the tingling feelings in the skin temperature
around you you might notice a warm glow in your heart the chest may be simply the sense of stability
from being still
in some safety aspects of the body in which are basically healthy a sense of
physical health and some parts of your body and see if you can bring those
pleasant or neutral sensations to the front of your mind and soak in the good
something that is enjoyable or at least
easy to be with and rest the mind upon. Simply connecting to those experiences
is enough. You don't need to try to increase them or control them. Just
recognizing that alongside any discomfort or emotional pain there's
something that's fairly easy to enjoy. Something you can be grateful for.
Tingling. Sometimes widening the field of our awareness can help. Widening it
slightly beyond the boundaries of the body. Sensing into the very subtle
feelings in the skin and just beyond. Help us relax. Give a sense of context.
Anything that's hard to be with. Life than that. Recognizing what's pleasant and
enjoyable right now. Being familiar with the mind to that again and again. Bringing it up to
the front of the mind. Widening your awareness whenever it shrinks or moves
towards discomfort. Widening it gently again and again. Pleasure. The sense of
being basically safe. Basically okay. Learning to be at ease. Perhaps bringing
to mind something you can be really grateful for. Can be something so small
or seemingly small. Like the ability to
sit still for a while. Offer yourself some peace. The blessing of having a home.
However humble it may be. Notice any feeling connected with these reflections.
Any physical sensation of happiness, joy that arises when we reflect on the
blessings in our life. You have a good friend in your life who you can share
yourself openly with. How does it feel?
To have someone you can trust. Someone who cares? Remembering a time. The recipient of
kindness. Someone smiled at you, asked how you are. Gave you a card or a gift that you
didn't expect. Bring those experiences, any experience, to mind that you feel grateful
for. Try to uplift the heart. The good. Nothing comes to mind right now. Perhaps remember a time.
You did feel grateful, but gratitude arose.
That feel as an embodied experience.
Allow yourself to enjoy any pleasant feeling associated with that.
Associated qualities to gratitude, maybe love.
Another quality of gratitude to soak through your body.
Breath is another thing to be grateful for.
Coming close to the end of the meditation.
Before you open your eyes, just notice how you feel now compared to when you began.
What was it like to incline the mind towards what's pleasant or easeful?
How did that feel in your body?
And what was the effect on your mind?
Was there something you felt genuinely grateful for?
And what was it like to recollect that thing, that person, that experience,
that good feeling?
What goodness in your life are you grateful for?
So just enjoying three more breaths.
Each breath to be nourishing, pleasant, smooth.
See how much enjoyment you can get from your grateful for a simple breath.
Ring the bell in case you would like to continue for a little longer.
We're meeting again at half past two, so there's plenty of time.
So if you are enjoying,
if you're breathing or connecting with any wholesome happiness that may be arising for you,
please continue and move gently through your day.
You do need to move on to something else now.
See if you can stay connected to that sense of the blessings in your life.
So many blessings.
Maybe you're going to start cooking soon.
There's food in your fridge.
There's spices on your shelf.
It's a big blessing.
Whatever you can notice that brings a sense of uplift to your mind.
Something I did leave out from the talk which I had intended to say
is that some very interesting research shows that when we're stressed or tired
or not noticing what there is to enjoy,
the negativity bias becomes stronger.
I think we can know that for ourselves, right?
We actually see things in a more negative way.
So looking for things to enjoy, you're changing your mind.