Ringkasan dibuat dengan bantuan AI • Belum diverifikasi
Ceramah ini membahas tentang siklus berpikir dan bagaimana pikiran memengaruhi kehidupan serta praktik meditasi. Pembicara membuka dengan membacakan Mettā Sutta dan memperkenalkan topik berpikir sebagai aktivitas yang sering menjadi masalah dalam meditasi. Ia membedakan dua jenis pikiran: volunter (disengaja) dan involunter (tidak disengaja), menjelaskan bahwa pikiran volunter menciptakan kamma yang kemudian berbuah menjadi pikiran involunter. Melalui analogi kereta api dan earworm, ia menunjukkan bagaimana pikiran yang terus-menerus dipikirkan memperkuat kebiasaan dan menjadi adiktif. Ia mengutip MN 19 tentang dua jenis pikiran untuk menekankan bahaya pikiran yang tidak terkendali, terutama yang negatif, yang dapat mengarah pada penderitaan. Dalam meditasi, ia memandu peserta untuk mengamati pikiran, membedakan antara pikiran yang muncul dan yang dilanjutkan, serta merasakan dorongan untuk melanjutkannya, dengan tujuan melatih kesadaran dan melepaskan keterikatan. Pada sesi tanya jawab, ia membahas pikiran netral yang tetap bermasalah karena berakar pada rasa diri dan memicu proliferasi (papañca). Ia juga menjelaskan bahwa hanya pikiran yang disengaja yang menciptakan kamma, dan pentingnya melihat bahaya dari pikiran negatif. Terkait etika sehari-hari, ia menekankan pentingnya niat, mitigasi bahaya, dan sikap penyesalan ketika tidak sengaja membunuh makhluk kecil. Pesan utamanya adalah pentingnya mengendalikan pikiran, memahami proses berpikir, dan mengembangkan kesadaran serta welas asih dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.
This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness and who knows the path of peace.
Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech, humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied,
unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways, peaceful and calm and wise and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove, wishing in gladness and in safety.
. . .
May all beings be happy, whatever living beings there may be, whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
the great or the mighty, medium, short or small, the seen and the unseen, those living near and far away,
those born and to be born.
. . .
May all beings be happy.
Let none deceive another or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill will wish harm upon another, even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child.
. . .
May these people states that Team
follow with a boundless heart, should one cherish all living beings, radiating kindness over the entire world, spreading upwards to the skies and downwards to the depths,
outwards and unbounded, freed from hatred and ill will, whether standing or walking.
. . .
or lying down free from drowsiness one should sustain this recollection this is
said to be the sublime abiding by not holding to fixed views the pure hearted
one having clarity of vision being free from all sense desires is not born again
into this world sadhu sadhu sadhu as if you're on a Johnny
Grove retreat okie dokes that was that was the meta
suita and now now what do you think we shall talk about
I think I think I think I'd like to talk about thinking
I think I'd like to talk about thinking
Because everybody, everybody thinks, right?
Einstein thought, but I also think.
So we can think all sorts of thoughts.
We can think theory of relativity, we can think what's for lunch, we can think why
am I a damasara bunny, or we can think, we can think all sorts of things.
And this will come to haunt us when we meditate, right?
What is like the most popular question about meditation is.
So then I thought, I thought, I thought, let's talk about thinking.
And I, like anything, if you think about something a little bit more deeply, it gets a bit more,
I won't say complicated.
I'd say the better word is nuanced begins to feel a bit more nuanced because when you
look at something more closely, you see that actually there is a more intricate process
at work than just thinking, oh, I was thinking, oh, I was meditating and then I just started
to think and um, yeah, yeah.
But how, how does this process actually work?
You know, cause if we just say, oh yeah, I was meditating and then I just started to
think and, and then, and then, you know, I could never get peaceful there when my meditation
it's, it's like, we're like, we're like powerless, you know, we're just held hostage by our thinking
and um, and it often feels like that, but that's because we haven't cracked the process.
So here I am to share with you.
My picture, hope you see this because don't worry if you can hear the, see the, the fine,
the fine writing, but just the very basic idea that there is a cycle going on.
A cycle, samsara is a cycle.
Dependent origination is a cycle.
Those are profound cycles, but I'm going to talk about a more simple cycle here, which
is when we have thoughts, there's actually an action of the mind.
Manokam.
Manokam.
Mano is mind, kama is action.
You've all heard about karma, the law of karma.
Well this is some kind of kama.
This is also kama is our thoughts.
They are kama.
And kama, as you well know, bears fruit in a result.
Our actions lead to our result.
So there is result of an action by the thought is another thought.
So the thing is, right?
You think about something.
Intentionally, you know, you actually, you actually, um, it wasn't, it's like something
you have a, the force of intention behind, and you actually sort of enjoy the thought.
There's a sort of pleasure that comes with the thought.
That's a creation of karma.
That's a creation of, um, you know, uh, action that will bear fruit.
And then what happens is it bears fruit in a similar thought.
And that thought will pop up involuntarily.
So there's actually two kinds of thought.
You know, the famous Sutta of the Buddha, you know, uh, Majjhima Nikaya, uh, two, 19,
two kinds of thought.
This is not what he means.
This is, this is my own usage of the word, two kinds of thought.
When I, when I say two kinds of thought, I don't mean wholesome and unwholesome thoughts.
I'm just saying there's, there's voluntary thought and involuntary thought.
So the kind of thought, you know, that creates compassion.
Karma is the voluntary, intentional thought.
But what that leads to is that because you thought about something before in the past,
it is, it is the seed for the fruit of that thought will arise again.
You know, that thought will pop into your mind again.
And this time it's involuntary.
It's involuntary.
This is the one where you're like, I was just meditating and this thought came up, right?
That one is not your fault.
That, well, in a way it is in the sense that it's, it's because of your previous, previous
thinking of it in the past, but it just pops up in that moment.
And you have, you have some opportunity there to do something, which is to not continue
the thought.
This is where we often, we don't catch it fast enough.
And so we can't distinguish between the thought that just pops up and the other thoughts that
that, you know, follow it.
So the first thought is like the first caboose in a train.
It's just the first caboose.
And that one, you know, the train came into the station because of past causes.
It's not your fault.
The caboose showed up.
But the problem is that we add on to the caboose with another, another, um, what do you call
those things?
What do you call the train body?
You know, each, each little train was called, I can't think of the word either, but you
know what I mean?
Right?
The car, right?
The car.
The other car.
And then the other car.
I mean, who rides trains anymore in this day and age?
Right?
But anyway, for the old fashioned people who knew what trains were like, you know, first
car and the second car and the third car and, um, and then we have this whole long train,
you know, like sometimes, uh, in, in Midland, the, the, the town near, near where the monastery
is, Kitchikanup, there is this train like track where sometimes they have these trains
like, like cargo trains.
Not passenger trains, like, you know, you're pausing for the train track and it's like,
oh my God, like when will this end?
When will the train pass?
There are so many cars in this train, it's so long, um, and that's what our thoughts
are like.
We, our trains of thought become very, very, very, very long, very long, very fast.
And so we can't tell that actually there was a difference between the caboose and the other
trains.
So we just go ahead.
We get, we get that first thought.
That arisen thought that just pops into our mind, you know, not voluntarily.
And then we voluntarily add more stuff, more stuff, more stuff.
And it becomes very long.
But the thing about this is that when we add more stuff, another thought, another thought,
another thought, it's actually creating more kama of the mind is creating more actions
of the mind.
And then.
Yeah.
The science of the diagram is actually very simple.
Every, every thought that you voluntarily intentionally think again, it will have a
fruit of an involuntary thought, an echo of it that arises in the mind again, again in
the, you know, a different, at a different time.
And so that means that if you, if your train is very long, then the resonance of it will
be very, you know.
Yeah.
Very, very long as well.
You have many, many instances of that kind of thought coming up again and again.
And then when that thought comes up again, you might continue it with another train of
thought of a similar nature.
And then it's just like, you can't find your way out of it.
It's like samsara.
You just can't find your way out of it because this cycle keeps going.
And even though it's, um, you know, let me just put it down for a second.
Yeah.
It's useful for us to know this, that there is a difference between the thought that pops
into your head and the thought that you create and you keep on going is useful, but often
it happens so fast.
We are powerless to do anything about it, but it's good to recognize that you are powerless,
right?
Why are you powerless?
No, I made you think, but I mean, consciously think about this.
This is a useful thought.
Yeah.
Useful thought because, you know, until you have that super deep, super quiet, thoughtless
samadhi, sorry to say, you're going to think even about the Dhamma.
But if you think about the Dhamma, at least make it a productive thinking about the Dhamma.
Okay.
Um, so use it to sort of like investigate, well, why am I powerless?
Is it because I'm a bunny?
No, I'm powerless because, because sheer force of habit, the sheer force of habit, because
every time, okay, this is, I just do this in a, just a simple pen, just a normal, you
know, you know, thin line here to draw the arrow.
But imagine, imagine that every time I think this thought.
Okay.
I think, I think, give me an example.
Let's say I think, gosh, who is that person who misspelled my name as Dhammasara bunny?
Who is that person?
That person is evil.
That's a harsh word.
But anyway, that person's not very nice.
Okay.
So then, then that's my first, my first action of the mind.
And then it will, what will happen is, you know, I go about my day, this and that, whatever.
And then suddenly, suddenly I might, I might happen across a picture on the t-shirt of
somebody wearing a Bugs Bunny t-shirt or something, you know, Bugs Bunny, right?
He's like, you know, Warner Brothers character.
I never know what Australian people know or not.
I'm sure Australian people know Bugs Bunny, right?
Okay.
Bugs Bunny.
So Bugs Bunny.
I see some kid, you know, coming to like offer Donna, you know, put rice in my bowl and he's
wearing a Bugs Bunny t-shirt.
So that sense contact of seeing the Bugs Bunny t-shirt, I'm like, oh, the thought pops up
again.
I wonder who wrote Dhammasara bunnies on the website, you know?
And then, and then so that, that thought just pops into my head.
But then if I'm not fast and quick and, you know, like, so, you know, sharp in my wisdom,
then I might continue to think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What kind of bunny did they mean anyway?
Did they mean an Easter bunny?
I mean, cause Easter bunnies are kind of like, you know, I don't know, they're kind of cute.
So is it a good thing or, or anyway, but like, you know, it's, it's like, my name's not bunny
and it's not on that, you know, they, they put my name on his bunny and whatever.
And I just continue on that train of thought now with all sorts of my own, my own creative
writings, my own creative writing, I can take all the credit for this amazing short story,
novel, whatever.
Epic.
Epic poem that I'm writing here.
And that is, that is the part where I'm just making more and more of the same kind of mental
action is the thoughts of a similar nature.
And what that happens is that that will make it a more likely for that thought to keep
arising again.
You know, I thought it 10 times, then it's more, more likely it's going to arise naturally
pop into my mind.
I didn't know X, you know, number of times, it'll be more than the 10 times.
And then the chilling thing, the chilling thing is that it's not only that it will make
it more likely for it to pop into my mind, it'll be more likely for me to continue the
train of thought in the same way again and again and again.
So the arrow becomes thicker and thicker.
You know, the neural pathway in my mind has been created.
First round, it gets created, second round, it gets deeper, third round, it gets deeper
and deeper and deeper.
And that's for both arrows.
So it's more likely that that thought will come up again.
But the problem is, it's also when it comes up, you know, there is that moment when you
actually, if your, if your mindfulness is good, you can see that, that, oh, this thought
has popped into my, my mind.
But then the compulsion, I use this word, not in an exaggerated way, there is a feeling
of compulsion to continue that thought, to continue that train of thought.
It's like, first of all, most people, you just, you just miss it.
You're not even mindful of the moment where you can distinguish between the popped up
thought and the continuous thought you can't even distinguish.
But there are times when you can distinguish and it's like, can't help it though.
I still want to think it.
I still want to think.
I know it's bad news, but I still want to think it.
So I will.
And then it'll be like, oh my God, I'm stuck.
It's harder.
It's harder.
You know, it's hard to stop because it deepens the groove and it makes your arrow line so
thick and it's just so compelling.
I have a good analogy for this.
It's not even an analogy.
Maybe it's a, it's a subset of thought, but, um, let me tell you, you know why it's dangerous
to go see doctors, to sit there in the doctor's office?
It's not only that you might catch, you know, somebody's cold or somebody's COVID.
I mean, that's so like out of fashion, but you know, it might be still, you know, in
the air.
You might catch that.
That's one danger.
But the other danger is you could be infected with an earworm.
Do you know what an earworm is?
It's actually a term, a term for that song that, you know, there might be just a line
of a song or just a snippet of a song and it crawls into your ear.
And it infests your mind and infects your, you know, your whole, your brain for, I don't
know how many more days.
Sometimes it's days.
I tell you that has been my experience.
That has been my experience.
And that is the popped up thought is when that thought just pops into your mind, right?
Because you heard it at the doctor's office, you know, that was, you know, just hearing
it is one thing.
But the problem is if you, if you.
Know the song and you are like quietly singing along because it's like, oh my God, why are
they playing a station of songs that are from when I was young?
You know, cause if I hear a song nowadays of, you know, some song nowadays, I don't
know the lyrics.
I don't know who who's singing it.
I don't know anything about it.
It's like, it's not really gonna like have sticking power because I haven't heard it
before.
I haven't sung it before, but because in my youth, I had sung this song before maybe many
times.
I created that comma then now that I'm now in my middle age, it can still, when it pops
up into my head because of that previous come of having sung along to that song, um, the
urge to continue singing it is, is as strong as how many times I've heard that song.
If I heard that song and I sang along like so many times in my youth, even though it's
like, I will say X, how many years removed that?
I don't know.
I am now, um, even this many years removed the comma, it will still bear fruit.
And because I enjoyed singing those songs in my youth with abandon, having not needed
to keep the eight precepts back then, um, or the three 11 precepts that include that
now, not, not technically, but we won't go there.
Um, then, then it's harder for me to like resist when, when the first line comes to
your head.
And it's like immediate, you think of the next line and then you keep singing the whole
damn song.
If you know the lyrics, fortunately, I've forgotten most of the lyrics, most songs,
you know, their entirety.
So you have that annoying refrain or half refrain that you can't quite remember in your
head that you can like, you can keep going at it because the compulsion is so strong.
So that's just like our other kinds of non-musical thoughts, because any thought we've thought
many times, we've created a strong habit.
And, and.
It's, it's like, it's almost like an addiction, you know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say that's
too strong a word.
It's almost, it is kind of, I think you could even say it is an addiction.
It's like, oh, it just feels so, so, you know how like dark chocolate, it's really bitter,
but some people find it so delicious and they, they, they like to eat it.
Not nons of course, we eat it only to ward off painful feelings that have arisen, but,
um, but the thing is.
Yeah.
So some of our, like, you know, our thoughts of ill will, they may be bitter in taste and
yet we find them so yummy.
We want to keep thinking them again and again, um, and I was, I was reflecting on this word
in English.
There's the word, you know, to recriminate.
What does that mean?
Well, I guess for some of you already know the word, you know what it means, but if we
were to break it down, recriminate is when you, you re, you do it again.
You criminate, criminal, criminal comes, criminate comes from the same, you know, same kind
of word as criminal.
So you re-make someone a criminal.
So let's say like in my example, who wrote Dhammasara bunnies, I've made that person
a criminal.
And every time I think about it again, I re-criminalize that person, re-criminalize, I re-criminate,
I recriminate.
And so, um, so any thoughts of re-crimination, that's what's happening.
You're re-criminalizing that person.
Even if that person was whatever, you'd have no idea, but whatever the reason they did
it for.
In your head, you've already, you've already created a storyline where they are the criminal.
And then it's like, it's like, it's so funny.
It's like, you have no further evidence that you, it's like you have no new information
that could change your perception.
And even if you have new information that could exonerate the person, because you've
already recriminated the person so many times, it's like for the rest of your life, they
will be sort of that bad person in your mind.
There will be an echo of that, even if you've made nice and you know, oh, I've forgiven
you.
So you say, there is a part of you, there's something, some resonance in your mind where
you see that person's face or you see their name come up and it's like grrrr, criminal.
I mean, you ask, just ask, hey, this is completely hypothetical example from my end, having never
been married and therefore never divorced, but ask some people who have divorced or have
sort of separated from their loved one, whether they got married or not, and it was an acrimonious
divorce.
Ask them like, you know, a few years down the line.
10 years down the road, 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road, when that name
like sort of just somebody says that person's name, what is their instant thought that comes
up?
And then what are the instant few more thoughts that come up after that?
That will see whether you've been recriminalizing or not.
And the opposite is true.
The opposite is true is if you are, I don't know, the opposite.
It's not something I have much experience of anymore.
But, you know, some somebody that you really, really, you know, you find so wonderful and
whatever.
So then every time you think of them, you just keep on developing that that whole thought
train of how wonderful they are, this, that and the other, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And so that will that will increase your craving.
It will fuel your craving just the way the other kind of thought fueled your aversion.
And so this kind of thing, it it just keeps going.
It keeps going.
And that's why we can have.
Actually, a quotation from the sutras to legitimize all of my random note taking, and I wish
you could see it.
It's handwritten everything.
But anyway, being as there's only three minutes left, I thought, let us let us bring up the
word of the Buddha, because the word of the Buddha always legitimizes anything you say.
So in that very same, very same MN 19, the two kinds of thought, there is that chilling
line.
Whatever.
Biku, which I feel compelled due to my previous habits of feminism or no, not feminism, a
sort of, you know, equalityism, egalitarianism, whatever a biku, parentheses, ni, bikuni, whatever
a bikuni frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will come to be that will become the
inclination of his, his, her, her mind, her mind.
And so.
If she frequently thinks and ponders upon thoughts of sensual desire.
She has abandoned, abandoned the thought of renunciation.
To cultivate, oh dear, cultivate the thought of central desire.
And thus her mind will incline to thoughts of central desire.
And you're like, wow, this is chilling.
Okay.
I'm just like, you know, just thinking.
Just, you know, having a little bit of a thought here and there.
But every time I have that thought of abandoned renunciation, abandoned is a very strong word
and I'm cultivating.
It's like, yeah, you want to cultivate rice, you want to cultivate these good, wholesome
foods.
But here I am cultivating central desire and worse than that, then my mind will incline
to those thoughts of central desire.
And the same is true for ill will.
If I, if I think about ill will, just, just a recreational thought, you know, just, you
know, for fun, unfortunately, even that, that just sort of this casual thought in that moment
of abandoned non-ill will.
And if I have those thoughts again and again, I will keep cultivating, cultivating more thoughts
of ill will.
And then my mind will incline to thoughts of ill will.
Incline.
Incline.
Once you incline, there's like, it's like you throw a ball down a slope, it's very hard
to stop it.
Right?
So this is dangerous.
Dangerous.
Same for harming.
Right?
You have abandoned non-harm, and then you're going to cultivate thoughts of, more thoughts
of harming, and then your mind will incline to that.
So you're going to have, you're really going to be on the wrong side of samasankapa.
You're going to be in the wrong thought, not right thought.
And then you're stuffed.
You're pretty stuffed as far as Eightfold Path goes.
Cause that's the number two of the eight, there you're already stuffed up.
So the thing is, don't take it lightly, but don't abandon hope.
Because remember, we have a chance, an opportunity to restrain, to restrain, restrain in a nicest
possible way, not repress, but restrain, right?
So when you can catch, the thought has popped into my head.
And you're like, no.
The kind of no where no means no.
Okay?
No doesn't mean, well, sort of maybe.
No means no.
No more.
I'm not going to think this thought anymore.
I'm not going to continue it.
I'm not going to write.
I'm not going to write, you know, I'm not going to write a novel.
I'm not going to write a short story.
I'm not going to write even a haiku.
Okay?
I am not writing anything.
I'm just abandoning.
My pen, the pen is what mightier than the sword, will abandon not only sword, but pen.
Just the way in the suttas, you know, you abandon all your weapons and all that, abandon
my, the greatest weapon is the pen.
So my mental pen, I'm not going to pen any more stories out of my popped up thoughts.
And if once I've learned how to do that, then actually the pop up thoughts, they will pop
up and they will disappear and they will pop up and they will disappear.
And then all my old kamma of mental kamma will be used up that way.
But the problem is, it's so hard to use it up because like, you know, it's like they
pop up, sometimes you don't, but then you continue it and you make more kamma.
So there's even more to clear up and it's just like, you know, your balance of like,
you know, mental kamma to clear up and like the ones that you catch is like really off
balance.
But we can try, we can try to increase the side where we can recognize, you know, we
might not catch it at the first thought, but you know, not too far down the track.
Okay.
Not one of those like crazy trains that stop you in Midland, you know, for like five minutes,
you know, um, but, but just a shorter train, just, you know, you know, aim, aim high, but
you know, be happy with modest progress, which is, you know, if you used to have a train
that was like, you know, 20 cars and now you've got a train that's, you know, 18, that's pretty
good.
17, even better.
And then one day, one fine day, you'll have a train that's only 10 cars.
And then one day, maybe five cars.
What kind of a train is that?
It's a pretty stumpy train.
Isn't it?
Why bother having a train?
Right.
And so one day you'll just have the caboose though.
And then you'll be like, that's okay.
It's not my problem.
I'm not the driver of that caboose.
My old kamma is a driver of that caboose and that's, and then you can just, you know, leave
it be.
And that is how we can sort of clear out, clear out this whole cluttered head.
But, um, but I just wanted to say that, you know.
All this talk about thinking is, is actually not apart from meditation.
Like we don't have to see that the thinking takes me away from my meditation because then
we are criminalizing the thought and then we keep recriminating it in our attitude towards
thinking.
It's like, Oh God, those thoughts, they just stopped me from being peaceful.
Oh, and then, you know, we hate thoughts, but actually let's just change the paradigm
and make thinking.
Okay.
So, you know, mindfulness of your thoughts and your thinking process is also a legitimate
form of meditation.
Being able to actually not only have a picture of it, you know, not only draw yourself a
picture in your notebook, the old fashioned way, but to actually see that process happening.
Now, the whole point of making diagrams is, is, uh, not to make this overly, you know,
academic, but it's so you have a sort of a vague idea.
Yeah.
You have some sort of a like map so that when you're actually in the, in the real deal
of your messy mind, you know, you, you have some sense of what's going on, at least an
outline, an outline idea so that when you actually observe what's going on in your mind,
you know, in real time, you can kind of have a better, you know, sort of clues as to what
is it, what is it you're seeing.
So now that I've, you know, talked a bit over time, let us actually try to meditate.
Okay.
On this and, um, see whether we can actually, we can use that map and actually find our
way in the maze of our mind.
So without further ado, I invite you to just find a position that will be the least uncomfortable.
You know, if you say, oh, make yourself comfortable.
Some people are like, I'm never comfortable.
So let's just, just try to be as least uncomfortable.
Okay.
For, it's just 30 minutes.
So, you know, just so you can manage to sit for 30 minutes, even me, I will try to make
myself minimally uncomfortable.
Just notice yourself wherever it is, whether you're on a chair or on the cushion or on
your bed or whatever, let's notice how your body is balanced.
If it's feeling like it's leaning too far forward or too far back.
Just adjust.
So you feel comfortable, left and right, see how you're leaning one way or the other and
just rebalance so that you're comfortable.
Apparently if you tuck your chin in, that will help to lengthen your spine in a natural
way.
See if that works and then release so that you feel upright, but not uptight, your face,
especially if you're like me.
Getting older and noticing, my goodness, the wrinkles, they have appeared.
It's good.
That way you have something you can sort of visualize.
So imagine the furrow between your eyebrows is smoothing out, relax it out.
There might be ingrained lines around your mouth or something.
Okay.
Try to pull it into a taut, tight expression.
Relax that.
So you're smiling as if you're just a wee little child, a sense of joyfulness and ease
comes with that.
Relaxing your neck and shoulders, chest and abdomen, upper back, lower back, right arm.
Relax.
Relax.
Just relax.
Down to your fingers.
Left arm.
Down to your fingers.
Right hip.
Down to your knee.
Down to your lower leg.
Toes.
Relax.
Left leg.
The hip.
The knees.
Down to the toes.
Just relax.
Just letting your body ease into sitting still.
Ease that.
Relax.
So, you're feeling a lot of activity.
You're getting a lot of physical activity.
And then using some of the moment, really.
If you feel you're kind of, sort of more relaxed then try bringing attention to your breath,
just how it is.
Whether you're breathing in gently, or you're breathing a bit more roughly and making
that a busy day, doesn't matter.
Just breathe in.
and enjoy it, and breathe out and enjoy it. It's natural, whatever it is.
It's very likely while you're breathing in and breathing out, somewhere along the line,
whether it's on the in-breath or on the out-breath or between the two of them,
a thought pops up, or it already popped up and you're continuing it.
Well, see if we can bring some mindfulness to distinguishing
between a thought that has popped up and a thought that has been added on,
willfully, with pleasure, actually.
And if it's already gone a little bit far down the train,
then see if you feel that
it doesn't come with just a feeling of pleasure,
but there's this urge there and compulsion there.
See if you can feel that urge physically in your body.
So no matter where you catch the thought, it's all productive of learning.
You don't have to force it.
Just work with whatever comes for you.
Your seeing of this process naturally drops the thought,
makes a thought feel dropped when you return to your breath.
Then that's fine.
Then just watch the breath and be with the breath.
But every time another thought pops up, you can do the same thing.
Just play with it.
Today we're just playing with our thoughts.
So, in fact, people who have no thoughts in their meditation,
they're losing out today.
So all the people who do have thoughts coming up in their meditation,
well, you're on the money.
You will find this the most productive meditation then.
So I'll just be quiet now because
I'll let your own thoughts do their own talking for you.
Because they will.
These thoughts that pop up
maybe lead to more thoughts.
There's no need to judge.
The thought is good or bad.
But one can just ask oneself,
is this a habit I want to create?
Is this a habit I want to deepen?
Just asking.
Towards the end of the meditation,
we take a bit of time to reflect back
how our experience has been the past 25-30 minutes.
Especially with our thoughts.
Did we notice that there were particular types of thoughts?
That tended to come up for us?
Or along the track?
Were we able to catch ourselves in the process?
Thinking based on a popped up thought?
What helped us to let that train of thought go?
What did it feel like in our bodies?
And there was a thought,
so delicious,
we couldn't let it go.
All of this is very
useful experience.
We can just,
in our experience bank,
just be happy that we spent a little time doing this
and practicing with this.
It will surely come in handy.
Not only when we meditate,
but also
as we live our life without our
off-the-cushion day.
Where we
are always thinking in whatever posture.
It's always possible to think.
The very last part of the meditation,
we can share
any benefits that we've
received
from our sitting.
Any greater peace,
or understanding
that has come with it.
Sharing it for the benefit
of all beings,
near and far,
seen and unseen.
May all beings
be well.
Be happy.
Be free from all suffering.
Live with ease.
And be
fully,
truly,
liberated.
So,
when you're ready,
you can open your eyes.
And let the games begin.
So the Q&A is up now.
So, anybody, everybody,
welcome to ask,
or comment, or
whatever you please.
Neutral thoughts.
Oh, you mean,
oh, in the two kinds of thought?
Well,
I feel he did say two kinds of thought.
So, um,
yeah, I mean,
it's a good question.
I'm trying to think of an example of a neutral thought.
I think things are either wholesome or unwholesome.
I don't think there's an
in-between, undecided,
I don't know if I'm wholesome or I'm not.
Um,
but I, yeah,
I don't know if there might be, like,
what we might call
neutral.
It might actually be tinged with
um,
some kind of
delusion,
or mindlessness, you know?
Like, like even, can you think,
oh, how about this, I'll turn it around to you.
Can you think of a neutral thought that you would,
a thought that you would consider neutral?
Well, what do you have in mind?
The point stop for you. Oh, the
size or the color of something? Are you thinking it?
Or are you just, are you just...
The sky.
Oh, the sky, the sky.
What are you thinking? I mean,
if you're just seeing, you're just seeing it, right?
If you're thinking, you know,
I think the thing is, in the two kinds of
thought, I don't think he's saying
that, um,
like,
I don't think he's trying to, like, categorize
all possible thoughts.
Um, under these
three kinds of things, you know,
central desire, ill will, and harming,
um,
I think he's just trying to, like,
draw out what is the most,
like,
problematic,
or problematic kinds of thoughts, so the thoughts around
central desire, the thoughts around ill will,
and the thoughts around harming, and the opposite
would be the, the, um,
wholesome side of it.
So, I feel
like the thought about the sky being
blue or not
is, like, not too problematic.
I think,
whether or not it creates some kind of
kama, I mean, that's a bit beyond my level
of, you know, it's a bit abstruse, like,
I don't know what kind of kama
comes from, like, thinking random thoughts about
the blue sky, but
I feel that any
kind of thinking, uh, whether
it's wholesome, unwholesome, or random,
we call it neutral, or we call it
random, like blue sky,
it's still, it's an activity of the mind,
which, um,
is not as peaceful as the lack
of thought, or the, you know,
the quietening of the mind.
So, in that sense, um, I think
even these sort of innocuous thoughts
about the blue sky, um,
still are not really gonna lead
us towards nibbana. They're not
really going to, uh, help
us, um,
really to develop a clarity
of mind that, uh,
can understand things,
um, that can see
not just the color of the sky,
but the nature of the sky, you know what I'm saying?
So that's, that's something
which, uh, yeah,
unfortunately. Even looking at
a beautiful blue sky,
and just having a nice little thought about
what a, what a beautiful day it is,
is, um, that can
turn into a, that can turn into a kind of craving.
You know, it can start off as just
a, just a, oh,
the sky is blue, but, um,
it can, it can trigger.
Like, even
the, the, the innocuous thoughts,
if we
still have, you know, greed, hatred, and delusion,
it's, it's very
possible, almost likely,
that it will lead to some kind of, um,
thought of, um,
you know, sensual, sensual
desire is kind of a, not, not the best
translation, but, um,
just thoughts, thoughts of
the five sense world, and
are still being, you know, pleased
to be part of this five sense world,
and to, to have that experience of the blue sky.
So, so
that is a very sort of subtle
kind of sensual desire that
can come with what seems
like an innocuous thought of, oh,
look, the sky is blue.
You know?
What if you don't like blue?
What if you like blue? Then,
then we're getting into trouble.
So, um, so yeah, it's a,
it's a good question. And really
the best way to answer it is not, it's not
from a sort of a theoretical way,
hmm, let's look at the commentaries that the two kinds
of thought, you know, refer to.
S and
whatever, you know, like, you know,
um, M, N, A, M, A,
I think it's called Majima Atakata,
you know, are you the kind of person
who feels, like, obliged and
compelled to read all those footnotes by Bikubori?
I am. And then
you just get a headache. So, um,
so the best way, really, to answer
the question is to just
follow your
experience next time you think about the blue sky.
You know? See what happens.
And see, is it really neutral?
Or is it neutral for just a million
milliseconds and it soon becomes pregnant with, like,
you know, something that is not neutral?
So, um, yeah, I think that's the best answer.
Is yourself.
Talk about fobbing it off all on you!
But anyway.
Yeah, that's my answer for that one.
Hope that helps.
Anybody else?
I just pulled out the Majima
just to check the 90.
And in that, the Buddha says he specifically sets
out to understand
and separate the wholesome
and the unwholesome.
That's quite different to when
the Dhamma, in the Dhamma you come across
Papanja, which is proliferation.
Which is always a problem.
Whatever it is,
wholesome, unwholesome, or neutral,
that's proliferation, which
Ajahn was referring to.
But that sutra specifically
looks to wholesome and unwholesome.
Yeah, I can't
see who...
Sorry, I couldn't see who said that.
Can you just identify yourself?
Oh, I see. Okay.
Okay, thank you, thank you, Gita.
Yeah, I mean,
it's like the different
sutras kind of approach it
a little bit differently.
So that was MN 19,
but if you just like
flip back to MN 18,
you know,
the Honeyball Sutra, that
talks more about the Papanja,
the process of Papanja,
which is that proliferation.
But, you know, what I
thought was a
really useful explanation
Ajahn Brahmali gave about
Papanja is that
basically, Papanja is
rooted in this
sense of self.
So any kind of thinking,
even if the thinking is about the blue sky,
if it's coming from
there being a sense of self
in there that's thinking it,
it will somehow always relate it
to that, you know,
idea of there being a me.
So,
as long as you still have that delusion
of there being a self,
you don't have the right view yet,
you're nothing but a mere worldling,
then no matter what you think
about, even so-called neutral things
like the blue sky,
it's gonna be like, it's gonna be
from the standpoint of me.
You know, I'm looking at the
blue sky.
And then,
I soon will have some kind of
craving about the blue sky.
I look at it for two minutes, I start to get bored.
Not even two minutes in this day and age.
I look at it for five seconds, it starts to get boring.
Ah, blue sky again. Living in Australia,
Western Australia, always blue sky.
When you first come here, you're like,
oh my god, the sky is so blue!
Especially if you, you know, lived in
Manila or Bangkok, where it's like,
the sky is grey as a norm, you know?
Grey with smog, not grey with
like, thunderclouds, but just grey with smog.
So at first you're like, oh my god,
like, the sky
in Western Australia is so blue!
And then, not long after, it's like,
ah, yeah, yeah, another blue sky, so
okay, got to go, time for
breakfast, you know?
So, like, as long as there's a
sense of self,
it's all kind of not wholesome.
Unfortunately.
Unfortunately.
So that's why, yes, I agree with you, Gita.
Proliferation is always problematic.
But we have to understand why
it's problematic. It's not only that
it disturbs the mind, but it's also
that it's, because it's just sort
of like, rooted in the sense
of self, it revolves around the sense
of self. Then, in a way, it
feeds the sense of self.
Because you keep thinking about stuff in terms of me
in a way that feeds that sense
of me, right? So you
notice that when you have, you know,
times of quiet in your meditation,
even pockets of quiet,
you notice how the sense of
there being a me disappears when that happens?
So that shows us
there's a relationship between thinking
and me.
Me existing. And strength
in that sense of me. The more
I think, the more I am, right?
Who said that?
Somebody said that. One of those
fancy, old
philosophers. Descartes,
I think. Yeah, yeah, French guy.
I'm thinking, I'm like,
I'm like Rodin, no, Rodin
was the sculptor who made that whole, like,
oh, the thinker, the pensive thinker.
That's Rodin. But Rodin's
friend is Descartes.
I don't know, they really live the same.
But they're both French, okay?
French people, they like to think.
So then, yeah, that's the thing.
Thinking. Thinking and me.
That's why, sometimes,
this happens sometimes in meditation
where,
you know, miraculously,
our thinking
dies down, and
there's some silence.
And at first you're enjoying the peace
of it, but then after a while
it's like the thinking comes back with, like, a vengeance.
Because you kind of got, like, scared.
You know, it's like,
oh my god!
The me is disappearing!
And the me is like, I will not disappear!
I am here! I am here!
Let me prove it! Think!
Think, think, think! Here I am!
You know, that's what happens.
So that's why we,
you know, it's good to understand
this whole connection between
thinking and the sense of self.
And the proliferation
is, it's like a
it, you know,
it's because it wants
the thinking gains force,
there's a sense of
realism to the thoughts.
They become very, like,
solid, you know?
And that also solidifies
this feeling that there's a me in here.
And my whole world that I've, you know, created
in my mind, all my theories
about the world,
they're so real to us.
That's, you know, that's why these
thoughts, they have
a power. And so we can learn how
to, like, you know,
shorten the train.
It also,
it also fins our sense of self,
and it creates greater ease
in our mind.
So, yes.
I saw somebody else's
hand was also up.
Was it, was it
Kaloyan? Where was he?
Kaloyan. Yes.
That's, okay, now you're here. Yes.
Go for it.
Reflect on his deeds of body, speech, and mind.
Uh,
any thoughts that he has.
But, you know, not that much.
Except if it's not, like, something really intentional.
You know, where,
if it's something really intentional, yeah, it works.
But if it's like those involuntary thoughts,
it doesn't really work.
It just disturbs the mind, as far as I can tell.
And, yeah, that's what I wanted to ask.
What was, uh,
the Buddha's idea when he told
his son to do that?
Yeah, so, if I'm understanding correctly,
you say that if,
if there's some random thought
that pops into your head that
is not voluntary, and you feel
repulsed by it, it doesn't help.
But if it is
a thought that you have, you have,
you know, intentionally thought,
it does help. Is that
considering it repulsive?
My idea was if that's
what the Buddha meant, because
the way I see it, that's the only way it helps.
Yes. Right.
Yeah, yeah, what he's talking about
are, um, yeah,
intentional thoughts, because it's
deeds, actions, by
body, speech, and mind. So there it means
intentional actions.
So it's, the
popped up, the thought that just pops up
in your mind, is not actually
creating any kamma. It's not
an intentional act.
So, it's like, no point, I mean,
you can be repulsed by it, but it's not like,
it's like,
it's just like, you know, some,
like, something
you open, you turn on the internet,
you open the, you open your
webpage, and like, you know
how sometimes, like, now, it's like
the main page will have some
news item that will just show up?
So that just pops up. You didn't
choose it, right? It just,
you open the page, MSN, whatever, you
opened it, and it came up. So that
one, you know, it's like,
it's neither here nor there.
You can be repulsed by it, you can be whatever, but
it's not gonna change your own
um,
kind of
uh, inclinations of your mind,
or the, it won't,
it won't, you have no choice about
it. But what the Buddha's
talking about when he's talking to his son Rahula in that
in that sutta is about those actions
that you can, you can
either, um,
you know, further cultivate,
or that you should abandon.
So the reason why he uses such strong language,
disgusted, you know,
repelled, you're like, wow,
this is hardcore, but it's because
if you really see the, um,
the danger,
and the, uh,
the, um, kind of
the ill effect of these thoughts,
um,
then the, even though it's not
such a over-the-top
disgusting thought, but even a mild form
of annoyance or whatever,
when you see the danger of it, then
having that
reaction or
response of repulsion is
actually very appropriate.
Because that's what will allow you to drop it.
So, yes, I agree with you.
What he's talking about there is the, uh,
the intentional thoughts.
Did you have a follow-up on that, or, yeah?
Uh, it's a, I have something that I'm
thinking about. Some of the precepts.
For example,
um, I have a job that
doesn't cause harm to
insects and, uh, smaller
uh, beings because
it's in a forest. It's full of, sort of,
uh, all kinds of small
ants and the like.
And, you know, you have to sweep
the ground from time to time.
At the very least, then you're certainly sweeping
uh, insects and ants.
Um, or
for example, I also,
I also, my family has
uh, so to speak, a house
where we have to clean a pool
from time to time. But because it's in a village,
there are many insects there.
And some of them are so small you can't
even, it's not, it's almost
impossible to move. So,
what exactly are we supposed to do
in those kinds of situations?
That's something, yeah.
Yeah. Not always, but for a long time.
Yeah. Sorry, the second one was
you have to do what? You have to
clean the house? Uh, yeah.
Uh, yeah, there is like, uh,
my mother owns this house,
really big house, and we go there
from time to time. And there is
a pool there, and it's in a village.
A food there. A village.
A pool there. A pool. A pool.
A pool! Oh, okay, okay. Okay, I get it, I get it.
Yeah. Alright.
And it's outside, there are many
insects, and some of them are so small
it's almost impossible to move them.
So, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that is, see, that's just,
it's so hard. I mean,
in any,
in any,
in anything you do, right,
it's so hard to avoid
harming somebody else
in this, you know,
round of rebirth. It's just,
thank you.
It's just impossible
to completely, like, even in the
monastery, right, it's like, dude,
you know, it's like, sometimes you
gotta clean, and
there is a little, I mean, it's, it's, it's,
it's just really hard to be like, oh,
right.
Um, I'm gonna
come back. I'm gonna come back later when there's
no more ants here.
Or, you know, it's just, you know,
sometimes things got to be done. And you try
your best. You try your best to be gentle,
and you try your best to, like,
minimize. But, yeah,
sometimes there is,
there is, what's that word? Collateral damage.
There is, yeah, you
can't, you know, it's just really hard.
So, um, I guess what
you can do is see what is
the level of the damage.
And if there is anything that can be
done to
avoid it.
Like, do you really need a pool?
Could you fill
it up with, you know, concrete and
make it like a, it would be
like a, sort of,
a flat area that you can play
tennis on. I don't know. You know, like,
there are some things that maybe
we can work around.
But, sometimes
you just, you can do
some chanting to, you know,
please go away before I have to, like,
clean here, or whatever.
And sometimes they do that. They do that
when, you know,
you have to cut down a tree
or something. Sometimes, you know,
it's like, you might
in the monster, you might chant or something so that
any beings that were living in the
tree go away first.
Any birds, any insects.
Your home is going away!
Sorry! Letting you know in
advance. Please move
before the deed is done.
I mean, you can do a bit of that. But if it's a repetitive thing
in your job, like, it's gonna be hard to do that all the
time. So, you have to see how much
that harm really bothers
you. And if it bothers you
a lot, like, maybe
you need to change your job. I actually
said this to someone.
You know how it is in, um, in
Western Australia. Like, mining is a big industry,
right? And, um,
it's so hard, right? Because, like,
WA's economy is, like, you know, riding
on the mining industry.
So, I don't know what I'm gonna do to the economy
if I keep on
espousing these views. But, um,
there was this nice
sweet girl who came to the
monastery saying, I don't know, I probably
don't have time to tell this story. I'll tell it very quickly.
But, um, she's, like,
spooked by this, like, you know,
these, like, they say
that, you know, these
sounds in the night, you know, are, like,
beings that are coming to, um,
like,
the spirits of
the, you know, the
people who were native to the land
are coming to say, get off our land,
don't do this mining, you know,
it's destroying the environment
and it's, um, you know, just
yeah, destroying
the, um,
the dwellings of so many
beings, animals, small, big,
whatever. And, um,
and I said, well, if you're really spooked,
change your job.
And she started to look at me
appalled, sort of, like, aghast
that I had given her this advice. So I'm, like,
just a thought. I mean,
it's really up to you. It's really up to you.
I'm not saying you have to. I'm not saying, like, you know,
but I'm just saying, like,
if your, if your,
if your job causes
long-term damage
and, you know,
harm to a great
number of living beings,
then
think twice. And we don't
always have the luxury of being able to change our job.
In which case,
think of how you can mitigate the harm.
And, um,
I don't really know your
job exactly how you could do that. Like,
I can't actually spell it out because I'm not quite sure
what your, what was entailed in your
job, but see if there are ways you can mitigate
the harm. And, um,
and as you
do it, whatever damage you're
causing, like, if you, if you have a real
sense of, like, I'm really sorry,
I'm really sorry I have to do this,
um,
I, I, you know,
like, not to do it sort of, like, with this kind
of, you get numb to it, and you're
just like, oh, whatever, I just kill left and right,
oh, I was just part of the job, you know? But
you really have the sense, like, I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry I have to do this. I wish I didn't have to do this.
Um, and if you really, really
have to do it, then at least have that, um,
that feeling of contrition,
and that sort of gentleness as much
as you can bring to it. But
sometimes you just
have to take the kamas,
bite the bullet,
like, even Ajahn Chah, right, his, in his
monastery, like, the Kootis, you know,
it's a tropical country, the termites get to it.
And, um, and it's all like,
well, what do we do?
And it was very interesting that, you know,
actually, they,
they,
they exterminate the termites. And you're like, what?
I thought these people were, like, powerful chanting.
I thought they could just, like, no, apparently,
you know, and, like, they have to, they have
to, like, this is,
these dwellings were given
by the lay people out of faith,
out of their hard-earned donate, you know,
money that they've earned,
um, and they've offered
it, you know, to the monastery for
the long-term benefit.
So, it's also not right that it's just
to let it be eaten up by termites to, like,
oh, let's save the lives
of the termites. So, it's like, there's
always balancing,
you know, virtues,
and something's gotta
give. So,
as much as I would like to say that,
oh, it's okay, you know,
like, if you have a, you know,
good intention in your job, it's
okay, you won't get any bad karma,
well,
sorry to say, you're gonna, you're gonna
get some. But,
you, it's up to you to figure out
how much of it is worth it. Like,
you know, in this case, the,
the kuti, you know, you really, you really need to save
it, cause that, it can house a whole,
you know, a monastic for, you know,
X number of years,
maybe many monastics over a long time.
Maybe they will, you know, attain
Nibbana by practicing this, you know,
kuti, or, you know, at least they'll get somewhere
on their path. So, it's, it's
worth saving, um,
and sometimes they just have to bite the bullet and take
the bad karma. But I guess,
all of this is,
it's complicated. And
life is full of these ethical quandaries.
So, I guess we just do the best we can
and we don't give ourselves a hard time
for, you know, the harm
we do cause.
But we try our best not to cause it
with this cold-heartedness.
You know, like, best we
can, we try our best not to harm others.
But if we have to, because it's
just unavoidable, then
at least we, we try to do that with the most
gingerly, kind of like,
you know, wish we, wish
I didn't have to, kind of mind.
And you can always dedicate merits.
That is like
some sort of consolation prize.
I always wonder, after you're like,
oh dear, I think I killed an ant. Oh, I share the merits.
I wonder if the ant's like, oh,
save your merits. Just don't step on me.
But it's too late. We already stepped on it.
So, at least we can, we can sort of
wish it well. So, yes,
this is my rambling, rambling
answer because we all feel bad about it.
And so we all have to find our way
to come to some peace in our minds about it.
So, I hope that helps.
Okay, is there anybody else
or are we pretty close to time?
Questions?
I was, yeah, wondering
if I could ask one more.
Yeah, it's also about
something I've been, I've been
wondering about is
I think I've heard Ajahn Brahmali
and Sujata
talk about
how you can make bad
camera not necessarily by killing
an insect, but by
letting it get killed, so to speak.
So,
like,
someone
unmuted their mic.
Okay, I, I
can hear you again. Something,
yeah, you, yeah.
So, yes. Yeah, so,
yeah, and how not helping
like an insect can be
bad camera, but
I, it's very difficult
to distinguish between situations
where you can actually help
and you can't actually
help, because you obviously can't go around
collecting the ants from the ground
always as you walk.
Yeah, it doesn't really sound practical.
Yeah, I, yeah, I
guess, um,
there, there is a ones that are like
it's like
obvious you could have done something.
You know, like, uh, I don't
know, you go into your bathroom and you see that
ugh, in the toilet there's, there's
like, I don't know, some kind of
ant or something, and you're like,
uh, great, like, you know,
it's like, if you're like, oh, what the heck, I need to go
to the toilet and I'll just, you know, flush,
then that's like, yeah,
that's, that's like you, you, there
was something you could do.
So very clearly, there was something you
could do. And you very clearly
chose, oh, whatever. If you
hadn't seen it, then it's accidental.
But if you actually saw it and you're like, I don't
have the time, I can't be bothered,
or whatever, and you just go ahead and
flush, then that, I think that's
where it's, it's something where
it's very clear that you're creating bad camera.
But if it's like, you're walking on
a lawn, and there's like,
countless living beings in the grass that you
can't see, and then you're, what do you
gotta do, you know? Um,
then, I think that,
I think there that it's like,
you can't, you can't put too much
um, intentionality to
that, cause there's not, it's not like
you can really, really, like, see
that I'm, I'm stepping on
this animal. Uh, and
that's, that's the thing. So the,
there'll be a much more mild
if there is any bad camera, you
know? That's
why the Jains were really into like, I mean,
they went to extreme measures to avoid
harming any, um,
living beings, but then also it's
very difficult to live their
life, you know, difficult to,
to do that. So it's not really
the most practical way. So
yeah, I guess it depends on
your attitude, really.
If it's,
I mean, you can walk through grass not knowing
who's living underneath your feet,
and do it with completely
like, well, I don't care at all.
Then,
in a way, that's, that's hardening
that habit of, of cruelty
or, or, you know, not
caring, um, kind of
a mind. Whereas if you're walking
through and you're like, well, I don't really know
what's here, what's not, but I sure hope there isn't
anyone, and as you walk
you might be like, oh, please get
out of my way, little animals that are
walking here in the lawn. Please,
please get out of my way cause
I'm out of my path. I'm walking here.
I will keep walking forward
here. Please go, please go.
And you have that kind of mind, maybe that avoids
the bad kama, you know, that
you're worried about. But yeah.
I think it's, it's too much to say
that like, I have to save
all these beings, otherwise it's bad
kama. That's like,
it's a tall order.
So I think start with, start with
the things you can actually see in your mind
clearly, and work on those first.
Don't flush the bug in your toilet. Work on
that level first. And if you can do that
level, then worry about the next level.
That, that would be my, my approach.
Okay.
Well, I guess that would probably
be the last one, being as we
are, we are, we are out of time.
So thank you everyone for coming along
and, yes.
Thank you as well.
So next, next month, there'll be
another rabbit. Another young
rabbit from our monastery will
show up on the Zoom.
So, anyway.
So hope all is well, and
peace out,
is what they used to say.
I don't know where that came from.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you very much.
Bye. I'll just stay on until people
bye.
I'd like to see who's here.
Nice to see everyone.
Good night.
Okay.
How do I go?
I just go leave, yeah? Okay, bye everyone.
Bye.